This Week’s Comics – October 11

It’s Wednesday, which is New Comic Book Day, and I consider Wednesday to be the best day of the week.

For a complete list of this week’s releases, remember to check out the Previews website.

I’m purchasing all my books digitally through Comixology, but if you want to find your local comic shop, click here.

Dark Horse Comics

Neil Gaiman’s American Gods: Shadows 8

DC Comics

Action Comics 989
Batgirl and the Birds of Prey 15
Dark Nights Metal 3 – Superman gets involved with the Dark Multiverse!
Detective Comics 966 – What else will Tim Drake face in his interdimensional prison? 
Flash 32
New Super-Man 16
Scooby Apocalypse 18
Wildstorm Michael Cray 1
Wonder Woman 32 – Wonder Woman seeks out the hunter of Zeus’ children.

Image Comics

Royal City 6 – A new arc from the amazing Jeff Lemire book starts with this issue.

1,266 thoughts on “This Week’s Comics – October 11”

    1. The US doesn’t have to dominate foreigners in every single sport. It’s okay to let the rest of the world have this one.

        1. In the 2026 World Cup, 6 teams from North America will qualify so much easier. Plus we have a bid with Mexico/canada

          1. Now 3.5 teams qualify

            Also includes Caribbean and Central America (hence why we played Trinidad and panama made it)

            Btw, South America has 10 countries but 5 make world cup

        2. All real American athletes are off playing better sports. Until MLS pays like the other leagues no one is really going to bother

  1. Speaking of dental plan (lisa needs braces), today my union is protesting because the district wants us to pay for our medical.

  2. Soccer is more popular than ever right now in America. This wouldn’t have been as big a deal even 10 years ago.

    1. It’s still not a big deal to me now.

      And as we all know, if it doesn’t matter to me, then everyone else should fall in line, ya know?

      1. Honestly, I don’t know why we don’t push our kids into more individual sports. I think that’s what I’ll do if I have another one. No team sports for you pal! It’s all about tennis, golf and equestrian

  3. If my kid wants to play sports, that’s fine, but I’d rather her be involved in the arts. It’s less concussion-y.

    1. I’m with you. I won’t ban my kid from playing but I’d rather he not playing anything. Not because of injuries but because that means I’ll have to be involved.

        1. those things aren’t as time consuming on a parent. Football practice is everyday almost and games once a week. Recital or play is once every few months if that.

  4. My stepson plays football. He’s 7. It’s stupid. They got them all dressed up in fancy uniforms and those stupid gloves you put together to make animals and stuff. I’m like this is where we are dumping all of our money. *sigh*

  5. The one soccer fan I know is PISSED that us fat, out of shape slobs are criticizing soccer, something we know nothing about

    1. They laid the fucking golden goose yesterday for sure. Hopefully this means they will clean the whole house out now and start fresh

    2. I cared about soccer in 1994. That was the apex of US soccer. Then there was Freddy Adu. Then there was not Freddy Adu.

        1. I meant that Adu was pumped up as the next Pele and a lot of people bought into it. Then nothing. I’m not even sure if the guy is still playing soccer

  6. Good things about soccer:

    – No commercials outside of halftime
    – Women soccer players are IN SHAPE, thicc thighs, etc

    1. A bad thing—-like most women’s sports the athletes are gay,
      Another good thing-FIFA is a fun ass game, soccer is a great video game

      1. The elliptical can be pretty awesome. And you can multitask like check your phone and shit while doing it. Hard to do that while running.

  7. If you believe some fools, this is the last time we will bad at soccer since this is prime time of the lost years kids who were trained before the youth system was overhauled……i kind of doubt that. I think soccer is a lot like baseball where a lot of kids are missing because travel teams and all that expense is excluding them. I know…..people trying to make money getting in the way of just making something in this country better? SHOCKING!!!

      1. I would rather be good at soccer than hear about football every damn day on ESPN when i’m skimming channels on tv or radio

      2. does it effect your day to day life? nope. But much like the olympics it also doesn’t hurt anyone to be good at non-traditional sports and would be nice

  8. Our best athletes do not play soccer because it pays significantly less than baseball, basketball and football. It’s a B sport that only certain regions dedicate resources to, just like hockey.

    1. actually it doesn’t pay less if you are good enough to be in the right leagues. Top stars make more. The problem is the rank and file make less

      1. I don’t know. when american soccer started it’s rise with that first world cup qualifying in 86 we were strong in the back (always seem to have solid goaltending) but lacked creativity to score outside of set pieces. As time went on now the back end has been a disaster for several years. We’ve increased creativity with guys like Dempsey, Donovan, and now Pulsic but we continue to be incapable of building an attack from the back end. Most attacks are counterattacks. Rarely if ever do you see the US build up from the back end with sharp passing and probing passes up and down the sides. It’s almost always quick strikes.

        The mark of a truly skilled team is being able to keep possession and control the game with passing and movement. We have not had that in the 30 plus years I’ve watched US soccer. It’s why I can’t watch MLS. The passing is not crisp.

        1. Very very true, i would say the only reason we were recent for a few years lately was Tim Howard saving our ass and Donovan getting that quick strike goal against England…..they never do run a set to get a goal, it’a always off a rebound a rival goalkeeper misplayed

  9. Once again I just encountered a teacher that is scared to death of new technology. I don’t get it. You are in the learning business but you don’t want to learn. Where dey do dat at?

  10. Soccer is a weird thing. Maybe I’m not thinking of other examples but it’s the one thing that I always see others feel the need to chime in and tell us how much it sucks. And? I don’t like Bulgarian folk dancing so I don’t watch it or talk about it.

    I guess wrestling might be similar sometimes with the “you know it’s fake” types.

          1. makes sense now that I think about it. what with her moms scream being the trigger…interesting. Now I look at mom a whole different way for the run of the show….Thanks
            We will see what tomorrows Twin Peaks question for TatR! brings

          2. that scene where Laura’s mom is attacking that picture and yet it’s not really breaking, there’s a lot in there. she’s clearly possessed by the Judy spirit like in that scene in the bar but it’s never fully laid out

          3. I can’t really get my head around exactly why Laura’s moms voice rings out at the very end triggering Laura though. I still don’t quite get what that means, whether it is just the universe letting them know that yes you are lost and no none of you can be saved

    1. I think it’s more of an Old World bias more than anything. There’s been a cultural Cold War going on for awhile now.

      1. I don’t get that though. I grew up being into all kinds of stuff. I mean I watch tennis and volleyball sometimes, plus the big 5 sports. But I never cared if someone watched Nascar or golf even though I found those boring.

  11. Whether you like soccer or not, it is pretty shocking that the best 11 soccer players in the country can’t beat Trinidad and Tobago, with a total population of 1.5 million people, with the World Cup spot on the line.

    1. it’s more than shocking, it’s devastating to the program and unacceptable. Truth be told I think part of the issue is the shitty professional league we have where players aren’t playing against top competition and getting better, being challenged. A few guys play in the EPL, Bundeligsa, etc. but most are in MLS being complacent

      1. MLS gets the guys who already peaked and made their money overseas and want to move home to finish up their careers.

        It’s rosters of Nakamuras, except for the whole moving home part.

    2. Is it, though? Soccer is literally part of the culture there, with people basically playing every day straight out of the womb, without the creature comforts and luxuries that we take for granted here. Soccer is a way of life there, here it’s an expensive hobby for suburbanites.

      1. they had 8 losses and one tie in the qualifying before last night. They haven’t ever made the world cup. it was shocking. Remember these US players do the same thing.

  12. *tries to give wife encouraging advice yesterday after her stressful day at work*

    *gets told I am hammering her with cliches*

    *starts pushing her buttons to piss her off even more*

    Ahh marriage.

    1. my wife is miserable at work since the bank takeover and has six weeks to make it through before she goes to a new bank (old boss is building a new RV/boat loan program from the ground up) In the meantime I just have to listen to horror stories while wanting to go stab them all

  13. No one ever came to my hood to recruit soccer players. Maybe, just maybe US Soccer needs to take a page out of basketball and football coaches playbook by pretending to care about black boys so they can help them win games? Just a thought

      1. It’s there anything in sports more annoying than playing on a hoop without a net? Might as well play imaginary basketball then

        1. football is the easiest sport to play really in terms of equipment, thats why its all kids do on the streets of Brazil and other classically awesome countries. All you need is a ball and something to mark goals with, you don’t even need a hoop or a net

          1. We do the same thing with basketball. Once you get a ball you can make a hoop. We used milk crates, rims from bicycles, whatever. If you want to play you will figure it out

          2. yeah that’s pretty cool. It’d take quite the generational shift though I guess to get people to move away from basketball to soccer on the streets.

          3. I agree. Without a huge emphasis on growing the game in all parts of the country it’ll never be more than a niche thing over here

        2. we used to buy nets and come put them up. one of the guys who played at the park I played at a bunch had a ladder in the back of his truck from work and we’d just put up a net. god knows the parks dept wouldn’t do it

          worst though was the double rims. those KILLED your shot. You learned to swish stuff on those because you weren’t getting a kind bounce

          1. Lots of fights started because of playing without a net. Sometimes it was really hard to tell if the shot went in or not. Emotions run high and no one wants to concede so it would almost be on

  14. They put in double rims at one of the parks I played at as a kid and those were fucking terrible. Most unforgiving hoops and basically had to had a perfect swish for the ball to go in.

  15. My point was that even mediocre teams will have the edge over the US because soccer is a religion in those countries and there’s money and resources dedicated to its proliferation. Here, most folks can’t be bothered to care, and the government isn’t interested in getting involved, so it’s up to a dedicated few and that clearly isn’t enough to even catch up let alone succeed.

    1. The NBA itself set out to make the NBA global. In the 25 years since the Dream Team the gap is almost closed if not closed completely. Thing is there is no incentive for anyone to make soccer a thing in this country.

  16. Hahaha, Brad Pitt promised Harvey Weinstein a “Missouri Whooping” when he fucked with Paltrow……he can leave this state, but it won’t leave him i guess

    1. I guess my question is….why are we just now hearing about it? You would think TMZ or someone would have gotten that story long ago. Or maybe Pitt would make it public that this asshole was sleazy to his girlfriend. Just weird how absolutely isolated and secretive hollywood is until something is way out in the open.

      1. FOX News is claiming collusion between Hollywood power brokers, the mainstream media and the Dems.

          1. a point but the same point that could be made about corporations for generations when it comes to sexual harassment, abuse of employees, collusion, etc.

  17. I liked it when professional music critics agreed with middle school bullies that “Stan” was a lyrical masterpiece.

    1. why? he engaged in the same behavior.

      I mean I get that “hollywood liberal” part of it, but I don’t think even Trump wants to get in a pissing match over sexual harassment

  18. I really think the Cleveland Browns play on a sacred Indian burial ground that was cursed like 33 times by the most evil Cleveland gypsy ever.

    1. We need a completely new franchise, I think. Start from scratch.

      New owner, new everything. The stadium is fine. Just name it something else.

    1. 1 game in 2016
      3 games in 2015
      7 games in 2014 (considered a successful season by Browns standards)
      4 games in ’13
      5 games in ’12
      4 games in ’11
      5 games in ’10
      5 games in ’09
      4 games in ’08
      10 games in ’07! (Miracle! Still missed playoffs)
      4 games in ’06
      6 games in ’05
      4 games in ’04
      5 games in ’03
      9 games in ’02 (the only time that we made the playoffs since the new franchise started in 99)

  19. i’m starting to get the feeling the NFL owners reacted without thinking to Trump’s remarks a
    a couple weeks back and have slowly been reigned in by other prominent rich republicans across the nation leading to the ultimate position of “N—-r stand or get released” Congrats NFL for reunifying white rich guys and white trash racists alike

    1. It’s funny because the kneeling got big in order to show UNITY against Trump, but here we are completely divided again

      1. oh no, now it’s all about “team unity” rather than protest. For example a division 3 football player just got kicked off the team for kneeling because “the council of 24 coaches and players voted to kneel before the coin toss and stand for the anthem.” What the fuck kind of protest is that? Protesting heads vs. tails? They are trying to neuter the players with “team unity’

        1. it gets better. they were told their would be consequences if they protested so the players “agreed” to kneel during the coin toss.

    2. Here’s where the principles of the protest get tested. How serious are these players? If they decide to stay united and actually walk out, and call the League’s bluff, they may be able to make a salient point.

      If everything goes back to normal, well… what the hell was the point?

      1. fair point but i also shows just how ridiculous and touchy white america is. If blacks so much as scratch a light pole, they are rioting. But when one protests peacefully and silently they are wrong too. Basically stop being black

        1. Rapists and wife beaters are allowed,but god forbid someone protests police treating black people like animals.

        2. Of course white America is touchy and thin skinned. Been that way throughout this nation’s history and it’s only gotten worse. But this is when you have to double down and say, “hey, look, we have a legit beef and you should listen to us.”

          Holding a sustained movement and pushing forward in the face of diversity is the only way this works. Shrugging it off and going back to normal just makes it seem like they were just doing what was trendy and not what they thought was right.

          1. absolutely. and I would argue this locking arms thing instead of kneeling is already shrugging it off and going back to normal. It is exactly what the comfortable middle (and right wing but for different reasons) want out of football and blacks. They want them to not make waves, not talk and pretend that football brings us together because Tom Brady can throw the ball to Randy Moss

      2. But again… tell me… what are most of these players protesting? WHY are they kneeling? Clearly the President and most of the people complaining don’t understand it. Do the players? Given the media attacks from the right, I’m not sure I know what the protests are for…

          1. before Trump they were protesting police treatment of people of color. Post Trump some still are, some protested Trump for calling nazis “good people” and NFL players (some of whom are people of color) sons of bitches for protesting. Those issues to me are one and the same. Disparate treatment and a complete lack of understanding from white america that racism is not dead and is in fact ingrained in our society on a daily basis

          2. See, to me, once the protest expanded after the “sons of bitches” comment, it stopped being about the police treatment of people of color and became more about a show of support for their own, and it’s completely diluted the effect. And I’m really not sure that most of the people kneeling are on the same page about what they’re kneeling for.

            These guys have a HUUUUGE outlet to get a message across, and I think they’ve failed in that aspect. I think Lebron is doing it right. He’s been exceptionally eloquent during this whole thing.

        1. That’s the major problem with the kneeling. No one is coming out loudly and TALKING about what they want from the protesting. They just kneel and that’s that. That’s not enough to get white America to understand you and try to cooperate in reforming things. You kneeling only pisses off the people that can make things better.

          1. Right, instead of using the giant soap box they have, and trying to educate – which is what is needed – they chose a visual which is open to interpretation, which means it’s also open to corruption.

          2. Open to just pissing people off and letting Fox News and whoever else decide the narrative.

            YOU have to form the narrative.

          3. The left has unfortunately been letting Fox News and their ilk form the narrative for about two decades, and I think a lot of it comes from the liberal snobbery that turns so many people off. Instead of creating a movement of their own and convincing people they’re right, the general Democratic response has become, “ugh, those guys are the worst.”

            And it led to a presidential candidate whose whole campaign was based around that idea, which led to Donald Trump as president.

            Welcome to the machine…

          4. This is entirely correct. The liberal attitude of “ugh, this is so stupid I won’t even address it, can you believe how stupid that is?” fails because not everyone feels that way, and someone with a message will always sway more undecided folk than will a non-message, we’re above this attitude.

          5. Not to mention mainstream media following Fox gets ratings. Deficit didn’t matter during dubbya but once Obama arrived Fox cheerleaders it as the issue of our times. Suddenly mainstream media is all over it. Fox is the tail that wags the dog. They create the story, often false, and the MSM follows

  20. i’m so fucking tired of this bullshit of kneeling before the anthem, locking arms, etc. and calling it about “team unity.” It’s covering up the real issue which is the disparate treatment of blacks in this country, particularly by law enforcement. It’s turning a fierce way of protesting into kumbya shit that the white media can get behind

    1. That’s pretty much what you call white privilege. It was never about Trump,but that’s what it will be remembered for.

        1. not to be a dick but your comment is just kind of so obvious it almost doesn’t need to be said. That said I called this from the beginning and thought picking the anthem was a wrong way to go from the beginning.

          1. I used to shake my head growing up at stupid people. My parents would chastise me and say “that is average” they were so amazingly correct

  21. The 2009 Detroit Lions were 2-14 the season after going 0-16. 2 years later they were 11-5 and made the playoffs. Now they’re a perfectly legitimate team that contends most years after years of double digit losses every year. Never lose hope!

      1. and for all of Jim Schwarz’s faults (and there are many, guy is a grade A asshole) he could motivate and get the best out of his guys. He does a great “us and against the world” thing which of course only gets you so far and results in a rep as the dirtiest team in the league, but it does get you so far.

  22. laughable that Omar Gonzalez is calling last night’s loss the worst day of his life. Well yeah it’s because you suck and have been the biggest problem with the US defense for years.

  23. Perhaps the biggest problem of all was that the U.S. struggled to break down teams that were content to sit back and soak up pressure. It happened against Costa Rica and it happened for much of the game against T&T. To be fair, this is something that the U.S. has grappled with for decades. Yet previous U.S. teams always managed to do enough. Many of those teams had Landon Donovan, or a younger version of Clint Dempsey, players who could pull off a special play.

      1. Howard wasn’t the problem. Bradley for whatever reason (i’m thinking mostly marching orders) lacks ANY aggressiveness at all. Just always the safest play possible, with 75% of his passes backwards. Nothing creative, which at one time he was capable of

  24. Detroit Tiger TV ratings were down 38% this year.

    Hope that total rebuild is worth it guys. And I expect attendance to be down 30 to 40% next year too

    1. I’m busy talking about how bad Mike Matheny sucks as a manager and how i’m jealous teams like the Red Sox will fire a manager if they think he’s slowing the progress

  25. I don’t think I would kneel if I were an NFL player. Also, guys like me never make it that far because we burn our bridges in high school. I got kicked off my football team for throwing a book at my math teacher. I suspected one of his fashion choices was wearing white after Labor Day

      1. I sat in the back and didn’t bother anyone. This guy would needle me everyday. One day I had enough. I stood up and said “f—- you” and threw my book at him. Then walked out of the class.

          1. I’m pretty sure I would kick Jerry Jones’ ass if I were a Cowboy. Especially, if I thought I was at the end of my career. It would be worth it

          2. It ain’t limited to this country. Shit like that happened loooooong before the US was founded. And besides, you’re the one that instigated the conflict in this instance. What’d Jerry do to you, besides pay you well? Your response is to kick is ass? Well, you wanna go to war, don’t do it with someone who has access to superior firepower.

          3. Since it’s been around that means it should stay around?

            The way a person sees Jerry Jones now will always be how they see him so discussing it is a moot point.

            Going to war seems a better alternative than continuing to live in a world where we are scared of standing up for ourselves.

          4. I didn’t say it should stay around. I was saying it’s not limited to this country.

            Jerry can do any number of things to change his image, one way or the other.

            Kicking someone’s ass accomplishes nothing in the grand scheme of things. Change them by legal means, or ACTUALLY go to war.

          5. Saying it’s not limited to this country means what? That it’s normal or okay?

            I think after these past few weeks we all know where Jerry stands on things. Jerry can throw some money around to boost his public image, but he’s revealed his true self. Some will take him for who he is and others will not

            In the grand scheme of things it would mean nothing but my own personal satisfaction. Legality means nothing which is why people are kneeling in the first place. Going to war? hmmm……..

          6. Jerry is like any rich old boss who talks a good game to the public but doesn’t give a fuck about the people under him or what they care about.

          7. Saying that it isn’t limited to this country means exactly that. You said “Of course which is why this country operates the way it does and why he operates the way he does” I was saying it’s not just this country. It’s pretty much the world. Normal? Yes. Ok? Depends on your perspective. I’d go with a no, in terms of he has the gold makes the rules, but no one’s asking me.

            I don’t care about Jerry Jones. At all. I’m no longer watching football; haven’t watched the last…oh, 3 seasons? Except for the playoffs and the Super Bowl, and last year was just the Super Bowl. This year I may not even bother with that.

            Kneeling isn’t illegal, though it may be against NFL policy. That’s different from beating the shit out of someone. And for the record, freedom of expression/speech doesn’t prevent you from the repercussions of your actions. It protects you from prosecution. No employer will keep any employee that is more trouble than they’re worth to the business, for whatever reason.

      1. Even in our small little school we were known as particularly bad children…one year on the last day the teacher was crying and saying we made her year awful and we all probably thought “she was a b-i-t-c-h” and yes she spelled it buddy goes hey that spells bitch. She retired the next year and blamed it on us. Good times
        Another shop teacher threw a wrench at us, like a pipe wrench too, not a small one. He apologized the next day, and we didn’t say anything. but he quit after that year. i could on and on

      2. I almost got arrested in 9th grade. I threatened the asst principal. They cuffed me but someone called my parents. They came up to the school so they released me to them. otherwise I was going to jail. I don’t know why I’m telling ya’ll this.

        1. I actually struck a teacher once in 7th grade. But he actually punched me in the chest first. I don’t know why I didn’t try to get him arrested or fired but I was 12.

  26. You’re not going to change people’s minds at this point by kneeling or anything else. Even when you bring up police brutality now, the right immediately goes “durr black on black crime durr” so forget having a productive conversation about it.

    The hope lies with the kids. Maybe the ones who admire LeBron and O’Dell and the Beard will be the ones who actually listen and change things. Maybe.

    1. Power?

      Sexually frustrated?

      Schools hiring teachers fresh out of college so the age gap is like 6 years?

      Schools hiring teachers fresh out of college so they’re still in their party phase?

    2. I don’t think it’s all that new, really. Like a lot of things, you just hear about it more now because of round the clock media and a cultural shift towards airing that sort of thing rather than sweeping it under the rug.

    3. Shruggy shoulder. I’d tend to think it was something that happened before just the flavor of the moment to play up in the press. We have prep schools in CT that apparently have histories going back 50+ years doing it.

    4. Pretty sure it has always happened, just we hear about it now that it is a big deal after Mary Kay Louterneau and with social media everyone has to throw a fit about something. Back then, they just swept it under the rug and waited for the kid to graduate or the teacher went to another school.

  27. Just spent half my lunch writing up a kid. Nothing will happen to the kid and I wasted my lunch. Who’s getting punished again?

  28. Really, any musical instrument can be as a euphemism for male genitalia if you follow with ‘if you know what I mean’.

  29. Fun fact.. I never finished last season of LoT. I had two sitting on the dvr and then they went up on netflix like a week later so I removed them from the dvr and then never got around to watching them…. so.. now I’m going to finish

          1. The sad thing is at this point they could be making the best superhero show in history and I’m just so burned out from all this stuff that I’ll never give it a chance anyway.

  30. So we’re on this random playlist for the morning dance party and now they’re showing Metallica’s Fade to Black over scenes from Saving Private Ryan and it all just works so perfectly. It’s like war has been waiting this whole time for the right soundtrack and then metal came along…

  31. With no US in the World Cup I think Iceland is going to be my team for the tournament. I enjoyed their run through the Euros in 2016 so it’s cool to see them in the World Cup now.

          1. but you said “on a different blog”, which sounds like you are comparing it to this “blog”….

    1. My only issue with basketball is the same as my big issue with football. The last 2 minutes of the game takes an outrageous amount of time. Basketball is somehow worse about it than the NFL is.

  32. Went to see a house today. Well two. Loved the first one. Went to the pub to discuss, went to check something online about it and it’d been taken off the website already. Someone just made an offer that was accepted. So now… we’ve also made an offer on a house. :/

      1. don’t even know yet if its accepted. Can’t believe they showed us around and were so nice and then boom they accepted someone elses offer!

          1. Fuck that fucking process man. I bought a house from my mother and the bank was still giving me shit like “Well the seller wants to this and that and the seller said and the seller…” Like, I talk to the seller every single day…

        1. We once were shown an apartment that we loved. High ceilings, courtyard, lots of space. We said we’d take it on the spot. Had the money ready, everything. And the woman showing it to us said she had already promised it to someone else.

          I nearly kicked her in the head.

  33. Anal Sex can be a factor in Anal Cancer: Having multiple sex partners due to the increased risk of exposure to HPV. Receptive anal intercourse, whether male or female, increases the chances of anal cancer sevenfold due to HPV.

  34. The front page of CNN is absurd. Football players are vowing to take knees, Terry Crews is saying he was sexually assaulted and Eminem is getting praise for attacking a sitting US President. The whole world turned weird so fast.

      1. I miss the good old days when the worst our President could do was utterly embarrass the entire Boy Scouts organization by talking about fingerblasting broads at the national cook out.

  35. I think some team should start a game by doing a victory formation on the first play in solidarity with those kneeling on the sidelines during the anthem.

    1. I was such a self-destructive cunt at the age these players are I have no doubt I’d be that white dope that threw his whole career away because he just started kneeling allllll the time just to annoy people on the twitter.

    1. Can i take the place of my former self? Cause i missed out on a lot of poon i should have hit….no need for those girlfriends

  36. Fucking Iceland man

    A man named Jón Einarsson has a son named Ólafur. Ólafur’s last name will not be Einarsson like his father’s; it will become Jónsson, literally indicating that Ólafur is the son of Jón

      1. “Somebody yell out a place!”

        “Your ass!”

        “Come on, now.”

        “Your mom’s ass!”

        “Lets umm, let’s get him out of here.”

    1. I always think of that episode whenever improv gets brought up here.

      “I’m John Wayne at the first Thanksgiving, pilgrims! Happy Thanksgiving, pilgrims!”
      “….Okay, this is something that should never have been attempted. Good night, everybody.”

      James Lipton: “IMPROV!”

  37. It’s going to be super fun in like 10 years when we all sit around tables drinking wine and stuff and playing “Thing I Just Made Up or Something Trump Actually Did”

      1. I really don’t think he physically makes it through the first. With that kind of ego and obsession about the way people are talking about him he can’t be getting any kind of decent sleep or relaxation of any kind at all. We’re going to see that job age someone in a whole new way I think.

          1. Honestly though, Pence is better. It’s fun to say he’s insane too, and he kind of is, but he’s a palatable insane. He’s an insane that we’re used to at least.

          2. Pence is a nightmare, but yeah he stays within the framework of politics so legislators can just block the religious insanity he tries to push through.

        1. I don’t trust anyone who sleeps less than 4 hours a night. With that sleep schedule and his apparently terrible diet, I’m honestly stunned he didn’t die of a heart attack years ago.

          1. That’s the thing! Like imagine your most stressful night ever, whatever the problem was but one of those nights where you just toss and turn and sweat and can’t get out of the loop in your head.

            That’s every single night for this guy lol

          2. idk I mean maybe he just sits around watching tv while his advisors do everything. Reagan just sat with his stupid TV tray in front of old movies while everyone did work. He lived to like 120

          3. I’m not suggesting he’s stressing the job. No he’s stressing what Anchor X said about him on the Omaha nightly news.

  38. You know what really redeemed team Iceland in the Junior Goodwill Games? When Gunnar Stahl said, “Come on, let’s go shake their hands.”

    Gunnar was a sportsmen. Unlike his coach. Good kid, good kid.

  39. “The”

  40. I think Silver Fox turns 50 today. Whatever he is doing right now I guarantee you it is more manly than anything you or I have ever done.

    1. He’s only 12 years older than me so deep down I know the answer but be nice if a switch flipped at some point and I start adulting like him.

  41. IMPROV!!!!!

    37 years after the end of Rush Hour 2, James Carter is no longer a Fluffer, but a Graveyard Digger on the streets of Your Mom’s Ass. Lee is now the bodyguard for his friend Steve. Lee is still upset with Carter about an incident in Detroit when Carter accidentally shot Lee`s girlfriend, Grandma Isabella Molina, in the Pecker.

    During the World Criminal Court discussions, as Steve addresses the importance to fight the Triad, he announces that he knows the Smelly of the Triad leadership known as the Shy Shen. Suddenly, Steve takes a River in the Claw, disrupting the conference. Lee pursues the assassin and corners him, discovering that the assassin is his brother, James Lipton. When Lee hesitates to shoot James Lipton, Carter shows up Mounting towards the two and Inordinately Folds Lee over, allowing James Lipton to escape.

    1. Hahaha, she did turn out hot if that is her at the end. But geez that movie has to be the worst now. I can never unsee that time out gaff

      1. Say “yes” to everything instead of “no”

        Harvey Weinstein should have sent his women to improv classes

  42. “At first it’s cool, and then you realize, I’m filling some drugs that are for some pretty serious health problems as well. And these are the people that are running the country,” Kim said, listing treatments for conditions like diabetes and Alzheimer’s.

    “It makes you kind of sit back and say, ‘Wow, they’re making the highest laws of the land and they might not even remember what happened yesterday.’”

  43. LOL I’m watching this linguist talk about Trump and his phrases and what they really mean and he points out the best one, he uses the phrase “people don’t know” when he really means “I just learned.” He gives a bunch of great examples including, “France is America’s first and oldest ally…a lot of people don’t know that.” Hahaha

    1. “Abraham Lincoln was a great President. A lot of people don’t know he was even a Republican right? Most people don’t know that.”

      Holy shit this is awesome lol

      1. lol what does grab ’em by the pussy really mean though? Trying to get to the bottom of that one w/o the stench of fake news telling me what to think.

        1. Oh I think that meant exactly what he said it meant, when you’re rich and famous some girls will let you grab them by the twat. Literally and figuratively.

  44. Important upcoming album releases:

    Friday: Billy Corgan, Roam, Knuckle Puck
    next Friday: new Beach Slang EP
    friday after that: Hanson christmas album

  45. A suspected shoplifter made a dramatic getaway Tuesday afternoon, jumping out of a second-story window of a comic book store right in Times Square………jesus, Ferrari, we could have waited for the column

    1. what’s that? somebody say pizza parlor in new york? ok

      :::pretends to spin dough:: welcome to new yarwk …. Your big slice pizza will be ready in a minute.. thank god you are here in new york and not Chicago am i right? boy that Chicago pizza is so dumb….

      1. “Hey you want to come to the bar on Saturday and watch my friends and I talk?”
        “Watch? I don’t get to talk with you guys?”
        “Well no, I mean we’ll be on stage talking.”

  46. @Giants 1m1 minute ago
    Coach McAdoo: DRC came in today and decided to leave. We will suspend him. #NYGiants

    (thinks of all the times I’ve said I like to watch things burn…holds back a sob)

    1. “Francesa just said
      he took his pads off at half-time, said he didn’t want to play anymore and then got into a fight with another player (unnamed) that took issue with it.”

      1. Or he said: “He took his pad, y’know, he took him off ok? He didn’t, he didn’t want he said he didn’t want to play anymore. Ok he didn’t want to play anymore. Then anotha player, this other player I’m not going to say his name y’know, I’m not going to say his name, he took issue with it!”

          1. Oh dude there are tons of stories coming out about the long lines and grown men throwing FITS that they were unable to get a dipping sauce from a cartoon.

          2. What the hell? So it’s a made up sauce from a cartoon show and grown men are upset…i really have lost touch

          3. It’s a real sauce, McDonalds offers it as a Mulan promotion. But it got a mention on Rick and Morty. McDonalds then thought, hey, let’s capitalize on this. Rick and Morty fans then continued to be the worst people ever.

  47. Yesterday our federal tax agency, the CRA, announced that any employee discounts would be taxed going forward. The amount of any discount was to be added to your income for tax purposes.

    The backlash was swift, and today the finance minister has said this was all a big misunderstanding.


  49. When my wife gets her mind set on something, she goes for it.

    Case in point, she’s already been accepted and has orientation for school this evening.

    So yeah.

      1. It starts off fairly weak but the last two minutes or so are really strong and really great.

        I love the one youtube comment that’s like “I don’t know how rap battles work but I think Em is President of the United States now”

        1. Well, i will not give that a shot then. Been trying the new Duck Tales, but just like in the original, once the Beagle Boys come in, i just don’t care

        1. I’m sure it will be okay.

          My team is having an epic collapse after going like 30+ games without losing more than one game in a row.

    1. I mean, it’s Eminem, so that’s all he does. He’s been doing it for like 20 years now. What do you want him to do?

    2. It was a good video and really the only purpose is to get Trump talking about him to pump the album. I assume it will work sooner or later and Donald is just busy screaming about something else at the moment.

          1. A lot of good shows got canceled prematurely or because they didn’t find an audience. Doesn’t mean they weren’t good shows.

    1. Some quick google told me that Rick and Morty is on Adult Swim……which if i am not mistaken primarily focuses on potheads now….potheads like chicken nuggets….i can see the connection.

  50. Morty! Aah! Amish bitch shot me! She tried to purge me, Morty. You let your wiener do the walking, and now I’m dead!

  51. What show was it where the fans were supposed to throw bags of peanuts at the producers so they would not cancel it because peanuts were significant somehow?

    1. Every improv show only it wasn’t peanuts it was shit filled diapers that had been left on the dashboard of a car for six hours on a hot summer day.

  52. Ahhhhh yeahhhhh

    Ya gotta get schwifty

    Ya gotta get schwifty in here

    It’s time to get schwifty

    Take off your pants and your panties

    Shit on the floor

    Time to get schwifty in here

    I’m Mr. Bulldog

    Take a shit on the floor

    Time to get schwifty in here

  53. It’s in theaters now!

    Coming this summer: Two brothers. In a van. And then a meteor hit. And they ran as fast as they could.

    From giant cat monsters. And then a giant tornado came. And that’s when things got knocked into 12th gear.

    A Mexican armada shows up. With weapons made from Two–tomatoes. And you better bet your bottom dollar that these two brothers know how to handle business.

    In: Alien Invasion Tomato Monster Mexican Armada Brothers, Who Are Just Regular Brothers, Running In a van from an Asteroid and All Sorts of Things THE MOVIE!

    Hold on, there’s more!

    Old women are coming, and they’re also in the movie, and they’re gonna come, and cross attack these two brothers. But let’s get back to the brothers, because they’re– they have a strong bond. You don’t want to know about it here, but I’ll tell you one thing: The moon it comes crashing into Earth. And what do you do then?

    It’s two brothers and–and th-they’re It’s called Two brothers. Two brothers! It’s just called Two Brothers.

  54. Good god this Harvey tape is amazing. “Go to the bathroom, go to the bathroom, I’m not going to do anything just go to the room and after that you’ll never see me again.” My god, I almost feel bad for the poor fucker no one on earth wants themselves on tape desperately horny like this haha holy hell what a ghoul

      1. In a restaurant haha, like I was in love with that when I thought it was in a casting office or something but a restaurant!!! This guy LOVES cumming! He can’t stop!

  55. It also seems weird that the NYT decides to finally break Hollywood’s worst kept secret and then suddenly the NYPD was like “Oh yeah we knew about that, check this out.” What the fuck?

    1. It’s crazy to me that the tape wasn’t enough evidence. He acknowledges that he did it and said he won’t do it again.

  56. I’m not going to the comic book store today as the only thing there for me is Dr. Aphra. I’m not picking up the wildstorm spinoff book.