LEGENDS OF TOMORROW S3x12 – THE CURSE OF THE EARTH TOTEM

It’s a pirate’s tale for the Legends!

On this week’s episode, out team of misfit heroes go looking for treasure. Not just any riches though, but the mystic totems that could harm Mallus. It’s a classic scavenger quest for the team. They know the location of four totems. Spirit and Wind are with Amaya and Zari, respectively. Kuasa has the water totem. And Ray informs the crew that the Fire totem is in a Detroit museum in 2018, where the boyfriend of modern-day Vixen (Amaya’s granddaughter) is studying it. But Damien Darhk steals it before the Legends get there.

Nate figures out where the Earth Totem is though: 1717 Bahamas, under the possession of Blackbeard the pirate. In the cold opener, he gives it as an emerald necklace to his pirate queen, only for the Earth to coil itself around her. It seems like it should be an easy grab, right? Of course not! This is Legends of Tomorrow! In a poor decision in hindsight, the team decides to head to the Bermuda Triangle sans their captain. Sara is finally on a date with Ava and they don’t want to interrupt.

The initial meeting with Blackbeard is smooth, with Mick creating some tall tales about Amaya’s dread pirate adventures to catch Blackbeard’s attention. But negotiations for the Earth Totem are interrupted by the British navy, led by Damien and his daughter. While the trio are set for execution, the Darhks fire cannonballs at the Waverider, forcing the team to return to 2018 sans Rory or Amaya. I don’t know why 18th century cannonballs can damage the Waverider. It’s also weird for Gideon to suggest that the Bermuda Triangle causes some ship malfunctions, with no explanation beyond that.

Meanwhile, in the third subplot, Rip Hunter recruits Wally West for his mission. To convince the speedster to end his isolation and self-reflection and team up, Rip gets plastered with Wally. They steal Gary’s time device, get Rip’s coat out of storage and time-travel to…a karaoke bar in Tokyo in 1992…where Rip and Wally drunkenly sing “Careless Whisper.” Yes, this is the best moment of the episode.

Clearly, the date between Sara and Ava is interrupted by these incidents. With the help of some Time Bureau tech, the Legends get back to finding the Earth Totem and saving Amaya and Rory. The pirate story isn’t one of the show’s best. It runs a bit slow and tries to pad the runtime by flashing back to the start of the episode. Not necessary. As most of the team battles the Darhks to grab the totem, Sara and Ava kick ass against Blackbeard’s crew that teleports onto the Waverider. When Nora tries to kill Amaya with her powers though, Ray shoots and fatally wounds her. The Legends grab the totem and depart.

While the Legends have the Earth Totem, they’re still missing Amaya’s Spirit Totem. Both Amaya and Sara stop worrying about the future or destiny for a minute and make love with their respective partners. Seems like a win, right? Well, not quite. Ray, overcome by guilt for murdering Nora, goes back to the Darhks to give her a cure in exchange for Amaya’s totem. Once he does, they immediately capture him. It’s up to the Legends to get him back. Maybe they could use the help of a speedster…

Story Notes:

  • When Wally drops a deep statement, Rip thinks it’s a Buddhist saying. Nope, it’s a modern philosopher: Dominic Toretto from Fast and the Furious.
  • When Rip drunkenly tells Wally about how his actions led to Damien’s resurrection and the death of several Time Bureau agents, Wally just says, “Sounds like you’re a bit of a douche.” He’s not wrong!
  • Despite Blackbeard’s fearsome reputation, he’s actually a bit of a coward. Ah, the embellishment of history and legend!
  • The Legends’ actions in this episode do create one minor anachronism: the newly-created Captain Jiwe spiced rum. Awesome.