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They’re the world’s most fearsome fighting teens. They’re heroes in… a halfshell? And they’re … green? Heeeeey, wait a second…

Found in the toy section of Barnes & Noble (because where else would I be on a Monday morning?) were these teddy bears dressed up as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And I just can’t figure out why.

Sure, they’re cute and cuddly, but wouldn’t they be just as cute and cuddly if the plush teddy bears were, oh, I don’t know, plush turtles? I get turning human figures into animals but changing a set of anthropomorphic turtles into bears just seems weird. Right below the TMNB were plush animals dressed as Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman which everyone would find super-cute. Except Batman, because he hates everything that doesn’t strike fear into the heart of cowardly criminals.

What’s next? My Little Pony turned into fish? How about Pound Puppies that are really ferrets? Oh, or Transformers that don’t transform? Wait, they already have those. Maybe I should just shut up and not give toy companies any ideas…

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