Monday Memories – Clean Those Sox!

With the baseball playoffs in full swing, it feels pretty appropriate to use today’s Monday Memories to look at one of the sport’s biggest black eyes – the fixing of the 1919 World Series.

On October 9, 1919, the Cincinnati Reds won Game 8 of a best-of-9 series (one of only 4 times the World Series was contested that way) to defeat the Chicago White Sox 5-3 and become champions of baseball. But the Reds, an upstart team with a mediocre lineup but stellar pitching, didn’t win on the own.

Despite being a successful team, the Chicago White Sox players were not happy men. White Sox owner Charlie Comisky wasn’t exactly the most generous man and, despite the 88-52 season (and the core of the team winning the World Series in 1917), the White Sox players were some of the lowest-paid in baseball.

So, several players made deals and the fix was in for the World Series. In the end, eight White Sox players were banned from baseball by Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis, including pitcher Eddie Cicotte, first baseman Chick Gandil and Sox star player Shoeless Joe Jackson (who later recanted his confession and protested his innocence until his death in 1951.

The events of the 1919 World Series led to the creation of WP Kinsella‘s novel, SHOELESS JOE, which was the inspiration for the 1989 Kevin Costner movie FIELD OF DREAMS; Eliot Asinof‘s book, EIGHT MEN OUT: THE BLACK SOX AND THE 1919 WORLD SERIES, was  also turned into a film, in 1988, starring John Cusack, David Straithairn and Charlie Sheen.

While Field of Dreams gets a lot of love, I’ve always enjoyed Eight Men Out. The ensemble cast is tremendous.

 

1,231 thoughts on “Monday Memories – Clean Those Sox!”

    1. I really thought the Windians would pull even in the 9th, but no dice…on the bright side, four baseball games today now!

          1. Never got the excitement over him. Like, anyone can pitch in Oakland and Gray’s record was mediocre on the road.

  1. One thing that was ironic. Offerman went on for about 15 minutes about getting off your phone/social media. Guy sitting near me was on his phone the entire time. He checked his phone every two minutes including his bit on getting off your phone.

          1. Yes you are. Mine follows through to a point and then gives up and goes on to the next thing.

            But she usually waits until we’re both miserable and angry before giving up, because who doesn’t love that?

    1. Matt’s only gonna juice
      A leafy blend
      He’ll be angry and snippy
      By 2pm

      But he wakes up each morning
      Hand over his chest
      Thanks the troops
      And knows the USA is the best

      Matt is a true patriot!

  2. Favorite baseball movie:
    when I was a kid: rookie of the year (sandlot close second)
    Now: major league or bad news bears breaking training

      1. so many great lines
        There’s no crying in baseball
        Moooo; will you shut up
        Did you promise the cows to write?
        Hey cowgirls, see the grass? Don’t eat it.

  3. Indeed College Football Power Rankings for 10/9/17:

    1. Alabama
    2. Clemson
    3. Penn State
    4. Georgia
    5. TCU
    6. Washington
    7. Wisconsin
    8. Ohio State
    9. Washington State
    10. Miami

  4. One weird thing is that Hollywood makes so many boxing movies when boxing is not that popular now.
    Football has been the #1 sport for about 30 years but I can name all the good football movies on one hand.

        1. No Teen Wolf? I’m amazed….but really, basketball and football are not movie worthy…it’s to many moving parts in a team sport. Boxing, Golf, etc are individual sports and baseball breaks down to a one on one competition anyway.

          1. Yeah, that’s usually listed as the only good one. Rudy was just to much, Little Giants sucked, and Varsity Blues was so so awful at game development

    1. When the clock strikes noon
      Everyone is on a lunch break
      Eat some good food
      While Matt has a tiny ass can of V8

      He wants a sandwich
      But only gonna taste a tomato
      He can’t visit the taco truck
      Or even eat a baked potato

      But Matt stands for the flag
      Supports the boys in blue
      If you don’t do both of those
      He’ll walk out on you

      Matt is a real patriot!

      1. I’d like to laugh at this, but there are too many folks who eat this kind of stuff up unironically and there are a LOT of them.

  5. Jimmy Dugan: Evelyn, could you come here, you got a second? Which team do you play for?
    Evelyn Gardner: Well, I’m a Peach.
    Jimmy Dugan: Well I was just wonderin’ why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That’s the lump that’s three feet above your ass.
    [Evelyn starts to cry]
    Jimmy Dugan: Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There’s no crying! THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!
    Doris Murphy: Why don’t you give her a break, Jimmy…
    Jimmy Dugan: Oh, you zip it, Doris! Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigshit. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry?
    Evelyn Gardner: No, no, no.
    Jimmy Dugan: Yeah! NO. And do you know why?
    Evelyn Gardner: No…
    Jimmy Dugan: Because there’s no crying in baseball. THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! No crying!

  6. Last night me and the missus continued our Halloween viewing fest with Tales Of Halloween, a collection of stories set within the same town. It was a really fun watch, I give it a solid B-

  7. TI’s rendition of Jingle Bells:

    “Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all way! Oh fun it is to ride on one horse soap and sleigh!”

    Close enough.

    1. Matt’s head hurts
      Oh yes it’s true
      Might as well key his truck
      And piss on his shoes

      He’s hungry for food
      And a lunch break
      But went on a diet of juice
      And thinks its a mistake

      Now, Matt stands up
      Guns in his hand
      Bible in his arm
      To protect his land

      Matt is a true American!

  8. Jimmy Dugan: We’re gonna win. WE’RE GONNA WIN!
    Stilwell Gardner: You’re gonna lose. You’re gonna lose. You stink.
    Jimmy Dugan: [after hitting Stilwell in the face with a thrown glove, shouts] Ha! Got him!

  9. Bruce Timm on why there will not be a DC Animated adaptation of Kingdom Come:

    “The one that we hear all the time is Kingdom Come and I have to, like, crush everyone’s dream every single time because it’s just not within the scope of what we can do with these movies. The main thing that people remember from Kingdom Come, beyond the story, is the look. It was Alex Ross, breaking big, doing “photorealistic superheroes”, so if we did an animated version of Kingdom Come it would not look like that. We don’t have the money, there isn’t enough money on the planet to make it look like that, so there’s really no reason to do it. Automatically, they would be disappointed, that’d be the number one thing on amazon and amazon reviews would be “one star – doesn’t look like Alex Ross” “

  10. The stories coming out of Vegas about the victims are just crushing. Just absolutely crushing. I don’t know how you even cope with it.

          1. I’ll be watching Supergirl tomorrow morning and doing the season premiere recap! It’s gonna be amazing until I get bored with it about midway through the season…

            Joe, though, will keep up doing recaps of Flash and Legends all season, because he’s a better man than I ever will be.

  11. Oskar had Frida up 5 times last night. One time he needed to go out and she didn’t hear him and he shat on the floor, which Frida stepped in this morning. So she’s having a great day.

      1. The dogs managed to get into the bathroom where Frida keeps the food a couple days ago and ate EVERYTHING. Osky seems to be getting the brunt of the bad stomachs

          1. You’d hope he’d learn from the experience but that tends not to happen with dogs.

  12. It got gross at the end. Well, that’s over with.

    ….Two sentences my wife may say to me after coitus! Huzzah!

  13. I tend to like older sports movies. There was one on TCM just the other day about a pitcher for the White Sox who lost a leg starring Jimmy Stewart. There’s another about Jim Thorpe that’s pretty good, too.

      1. I have one nearly done. I was going to finish it last night, but I was on the phone with my sister because she’s going through a divorce.

  14. The state fair was fun! Expensive, but fun. $20 to park, $18 for an admission ticket, then you have to exchange your cash for tickets to buy food and rides once you’re inside the fair.

    Fried food I ate (most of everything was shared by our group): corn dog, Jack’s French Fries, fried Brownie bites, fried Mac n Cheese sliders, and a burger with funnel cake buns and that fake Taco Bell queso that tasted AMAZING for some reason

    1. I hate the food/ride ticket thing, because you always end up with extras afterwards and they can’t be redeemed for cash. I still have old Taste of Chicago tickets laying around.

    1. That dude rules. My favorite way how Biscuit could always sniff him out like instantly.

      Brand new poster: “Hey guys, I’m brand new he…”
      Biscuit: “Hi Kyle.”

          1. He and Bones are in the Snapchat group! They are just creatures of habit and don’t want to enter in a new URL

          2. He was here last weekend all drunk telling us about how everyone here hates him lol, so he’s posted once but never came back the goose

  15. Standing behind the microphone before a hostile
    amphitheater crowd, Mr. Miller — then a 16-year-old candidate for a
    student government post, now a 32-year-old senior policy adviser to
    President Trump — steered quickly into an unlikely campaign plank:
    ensuring that the janitorial staff was really earning its money.

    “Am I the only one,” he asked, “who is sick and tired of being told to pick up my trash when we have plenty of janitors who are paid to do it for us?”

    1. It appeared he was. Boos consumed the grounds of the left-leaning Santa
      Monica High School campus. Mr. Miller was forcibly escorted from the
      lectern, shouting inaudibly as he was tugged away.

    2. I dislike the guy but think it’s fairly silly we’re going after him for his high school campaign shit. Oh man he said he was going to get rid of the apples in the lunch room and replace them with M&Ms too this guy is terrible for America!

      1. It’s annoying, these guys are doing enough shit now that you don’t need to wade through the lifetime of shit before to realize it

          1. If your slogan is something like “Marv…traveling across AMerica one household at a time”, you’d have a shot

    1. Here let’s spice it up: I can’t believe the PPV thing and they did the thing that I didn’t want them to do hope they don’t that again tonight while I”m watching still

  16. Hmmm, the Beta for Star Wars battlefront II seems like it is way better than the first, but still not great. Wondeful

  17. Im here fellow geekers. I was at the doctor this morning and will be having surgery soon to remove a growth. Nothing to worry about.

    1. I love going under. What other time do you get to sample some of the best drugs we’ve ever developed as a species? It’s awesome. Get so fucking high your body drops out then wake up on all the world’s best candy cane codones mmmm yum

        1. That’s how I always look at it, “These people are pros and when I wake up I’m going to be higher than I thought possible.” Every time I’ve gone in for surgery I set the heart rate monitors off because my pulse is too low. I’m seriously at my most relaxed ever heading into a surgery lol

      1. And supposdily there was a spot where KO was kicking SHane’s ass in front of his kids and they just no sold it

  18. I tried my Halloween costume on last night. I’m going to end up having to stuff my crotch so the whole party can’t see my boner lol

  19. Surprised Facts hasn’t changed his name to “Surgery Facts” with an avatar of a butt peeking out of a surgical gown

  20. super enjoying that black dude on Twitter that told Mike Pence he didn’t think a football game was the right place to flaunt his politics.

        1. LOL the breaking news yesterday morning was that Kaep said he would “play for any team” and “would absolutely stand” for the pledge

          1. Hahahahahahahahahahaha, oh I always knew the whole thing was a goof anyway. It didn’t escape my notice that he didn’t start kneeling until he’d already become a joke for being a washout.

    1. It would have been amazing if someone tipped off the players and they all stood. Game long cutaways to a nervous Pence, looking at his watch, realizing he’ll be late for his Cali fund raiser

  21. The Sox scandal happened cause no one made money. How much money would it take to get a pro athlete to fix a game? It has to be in the billions, right? No one is throwing a game to make 10 grand

      1. Refs throwing games makes more sense. No one can indicate them without indicting the entire league. They isolated Donaghy to make it go away but we know he wasn’t the only one

    1. Depending on the team and player, a million cash I bet would do it. Maybe less if you also have anything compromising on said player (drugs, gambling, women)

  22. Twitter gladly offering up thousands/millions of dummy accounts seems an odd business strategy. At least make someone put you under oath to give that up

    1. They have no idea what to do and I can’t really blame them. I don’t think they ever expected their dumb social media service that was designed to be for people to bitch about the Big Brother finale would ever become this important a communication tool between world leaders. It’s gotten so fucking weird.

      1. I’m shocked they never just sold to someone. Value’s limited on its own but part of a Google/Facebook/whatever could be a treasure trove

    2. Twitter used to be really helpful for getting news and such, but there’s so much spam and anything important gets fleshed out by bad memes and pictures of hot women in bikinis

  23. It’s always sad/funny when a reviled poster tries to start fresh with a new name and everything but just can’t help themselves and immediately plunges back into the same old bullshit.

          1. As he won’t say I’m guessing Shelly, Biff or…I think that’s it for people that have left yeah? Anyone else I can think of would just come back under their name.

          2. Nah, I don’t want to make Ferrari mad.

            That said…it should be pretty obvious.

          3. To people that go there. I don’t. So I need names god damn it.

            Also making Ferrari mad is like my third favorite thing in life behind sex and Gushers fruit snacks so….go on now

          4. I can assure you I also have no clue who he’s talking about. Then again, I’m usually asleep when all the insanity goes on.

      1. It’s a man version of a Hallmark movie, and sometimes that’s okay. It’s just crying about fathers and baseball instead of children and cancer.

        1. Considered it but the inherentness of them keeps hiding it from being possible. Though then again, I’m horrible at sniffing out alters

    1. Usually when someone does that, their personality us so obviously and distinctively broken they are unmistakable.

  24. Ugh….just read the car list for Gran Turismo Sport…..good thin i can play the demo first, because based on the lackluster amount of vehicles i probably would not give this a shot

  25. I’m watching Jim Carrey on NORM and he’s just fucking great. He’s talking about how Hef invited him to the mansion and he only wanted to go in the Tony Clifton character (it was during Man on the Moon filming) so Hef said yes and rather than go Carrey sent Bob Zamuda as Carrey doing Tony lol, and Hef fell for it the whole night and was hanging out with Zamuda and just all over him telling him how funny his movies and stuff were. Then at the end of the night Carrey showed up in his pajamas and Hef flipped the fuck out.

      1. Or signing up for Kickass 2, taking the money, filming everything then deciding when it’s time to promote it that gun violence is bad

  26. LOL and they’re talking about Rodney Dangerfield and NORM is telling a story about when they brought him on The Norm Show and Rodney absolutely refused to stop playing to the studio audience. The director had to do take after take after take because Rodney would keep turning to the crowd and yelling “Yeah, huh?” Hahaha what a god

  27. Just to push Marv right off a cliff over here…

    There’s a really heated argument going on as to whether they should just put the title on Shane-o-Mac at this point.

    1. They should. Already have it on some tool that rarely shows up. Putting it on Shane would be hilarious. Plus he’s the most jacked guy on the SD roster outside of Jinder.

  28. The Daily Hollywood Headline Roundup:
    Hollywood decided over the weekend a couple decades is enough time to let an exec sexually harass and assault women and the Weinstein company has fired Harvey Weinstein. Harvey was quoted as saying “If we aren’t allowed to use our power to sexually assault and harass powerless women anymore… what are we even bothering to do this anymore?”

    Blade Runner under performed this weekend. The original outlook was for a 40 mill weekend that had been inching up towards 50 but when it actually came to theaters this weekend totals cam in at 31.5 mill. It’s hope now is for good word of mouth and strong hold up but that tends to be unlikely with Sci Fi.

    Thor Ragnarok has previewed for critics and word of mouth is hugely positive so far.

    Doctor Who: More is changing than just a woman doctor and new show runner. Episodes will run 60 minutes instead of the 45ish they had been running since coming back in 2005. The Doctor will also be getting a new Screwdriver and a completely new TARDIS interior.

    Beyond his own movie Black Panther will also be getting a LEGO spin off film. Thought it is not official it’s likely to be direct to DVD.

    X-Files teaser for the new season was released and even though it is very mythology heavy word is the mythology storyline only covers a couple of episodes and the rest are monster of the week. In related news Gillian Anderson said this was it for her and she is unlikely to return as Scully.

    Even though The Orville’s ratings have dropped by half since the debut it is on track to be renewed for another season. If that takes place I was obviously WAY off on the success of that show.

    The first trailer is out of Stephen King’s Castle Rock. Set in King’s multiverse Castle Rock is a psychological-horror combining “Mythological scale and intimate character storytelling “.

    That the latest Hot Gos from Hollyweird who’s who edition

        1. Fuuuck I called that ending! When they stepped away from the house after that awful conversation with the owner where Cooper realises he has nothing, no clue, no answers… I was like christ this is probably just gonna end up with laura screaming and no resolution at all isn’t it and then boom

          Anyway. Broken Cooper, or whoever it was by the end (part Dale/part evil Coop/”Richard”) his “what year is it”, his desolation when his grand idea of getting to the house was revealed to be just nothing… it devastated me. I think about it all the time. His desire to fix everything caused him to become more lost than ever. You can’t fix everything, you need to let certain things go it’s not how life works 🙁

          or another intrepretation involving dreams and all kinds of stuff I can’t even

          1. Possibly. I think it was earlier though when he first seems to go back in time and tries to lead Laura away from her fate. She’s taken back by Judy. As I understand it, Laura not only didn’t die, she’s been pulled completely out of existence, but the person who’s taken her place at the end seems to have an even darker existence. He didn’t save Laura, he erased her, and what took her place is still living an awful, tormented life

            There’s that completely and deliberately hokey happy ending, where Evil Coop dies easily, shot by Lucy of all people. And everyone hugs and is happy and suddenly there’s this weird disconnect with Coops face and it’s not even clear whether any of it’s even happening. It’s so hard to tell.

          2. See and all that…………………like I felt.. well they better make more because they really F-ed over some characters. Yet at the same time .. if he really did wipe her clean of the time line then you can’t go back for more eps to finish up any stories because everything is different. All that really annoys me. I was not expecting for each and every thing to be wrapped up with a bow but … he really seems to hate Audrey and everyone who likes her and were looking forward to her.

            Also Bobby and Shelly deserved more of an ending.

          3. Oh yeah I mean that’s a theory. Lynch destroyed the whole idea of going back. The whole point of The Return was that you can’t return. The past isn’t how you remember it and you certainly can’t change it. He basically destroyed the whole premise of the show. Laura Palmer never existed.

          4. But what was the point of the Audrey tease if you aren’t going back to it. fine she is likely in a mental hospital.. or coma…or purgatory.. or something then to just leave it there was garbage.

            My annoyance here is that Lynch was capable of better than this at other times on the show The Ed Norma ending was brilliant.. that episode. I got happy choked up there and then 20 minutes later sad choked up with log lady. He was willing to go all in on some of the main characters and then chucks others to the side. With Bobby and Shelly i’s a real shame because they were both great in their parts this season and deserved better. Not even happy just…something

          5. Yeah it wasn’t perfect. Like a lot of places I give it the benefit of the doubt and think it was a creative choice to make a broader point, other times not everything worked. I mean it didn’t in the original show either.

            Audrey… idk. Those first scenes with her husband where they kept saying they would leave the house and then didn’t, I got the vibe that they were trapped somewhere, that this wasn’t a real place. But then they finally did go to the bar and I put it out of my mind. I knew when we got that quick shot of her in the hospital we’d never see her again, that that was it. It is a shame. A lot of people online have seen it as Lynch making a point about closure. You just don’t always get closure. Norma and Ed might work out but that doesn’t mean everyone else will

          6. I didn’t get it right away tbh. When the episode ended I was like hmmm wonder what’ll happen next week. When the next episode started elsewhere I was like ohhhhh that’s it isn’t it.

          7. So here is my one theory. Eddie Vedder… wrote this song for the show… he’s singing as coop to diane. All sites have the lyrics as I And I am who I am but I swear he’s saying Diane, who I am. Eddie’s performance is one of my favorite parts of the whole series.

          8. God his voice is so lush. When he came on I was like wtf is eddie vedder the only artist using a fake name and it turned out that’s his actual name :/

            who knows if we ever even met the real Diane. that goddamn show

          9. But idk I guess that’s the thing, it was a show about a show returning, I guess. you want cooper to be saved from the black lodge, well now he’s most lost than ever. you want diane? Well maybe. Did you really want to know how the wild 18 year old girl whose father was a criminal and her best friend was killed turned out? I mean how do you think she turned out? You want a happy ending? Well here, Lucy kills the bad guy. Was that satisfying? It’s all about expectation and narrative and how… life just doesn’t work like that.

            Who knows, I think seeing that finale like right at the same time our world fell to pieces a little bit has made the whole thing resonate with me a lot more than just a normal show would

          10. Yeah I know. The more I think about it the more I accept it. Were you here after I first watched the finale? I was just like fuuuuuuuuck i’m not okay i’m not okay

          11. I know he’s another dude you don’t like but Vedder is about as good as they come to me. I’d be happy if he never did another thing with pearl jam and just sat on a stool with a guitar doing stuff like this.. or just covering other people I can listen to him all day

          12. There were definitely deliberate choices made. He definitely knew everyone wanted Audrey, and making her appearance a bizzare and really quite horrible parody of herself clearly was by design, fitting into what I said below. I almost feel like the whole Harry Truman thing wasn’t the original actors idea, but deliberate by Lynch to just jar everything, to make you aware the entire time of the show that this just isn’t right.

      1. It shouldn’t be too bad. Don’t they do first runs on PBS or something? They did 90 straight minute episodes of Sherlock, no sweat

    1. Castle Rock looks interesting. Wish JJ wasn’t involved. Wasn’t a fan of 11.22.63 for reasons other than just Franco

  29. Old college friend of mine who I see a few times a year is a diehard Red Sox fan and has a weekend/holiday season ticket package. His wife is a stay at home mom to their toddler son.

    I found out today that this year alone, he’s gone to 25 Sox games and a Patriots game. He lives like an hour from the park, too. I’m honestly kinda judging him at this point.

      1. I don’t know. It knocked me for six at the time, I probably like it more when I think about it. It definitely became incredibly meta the whole thing, about storytelling and payoff and such.

  30. Alright, aside from also trying to get a job, now Pearl wants to go back to college to get another degree.

    So I guess the job will be paying for that. Not exactly what we were going for with the job.

      1. She wants to finish up her Psych degree. One of our best friends has a masters in Psych and makes ridiculous money counseling. She sees it and wants to do it, but he busted his ass for years and went into nearly six-figure debt to get there. I don’t know if I have the time or patience for that.

  31. I’m starting to doubt that my dream of the four highest payroll teams all being eliminated in the divisional isn’t going to happen.

  32. It’s kind of sad that I would be perfectly happy if she just got a job anywhere right now so she can pay a couple of these bills.

    1. Honestly that would be better anyway really. Sounds like she’s diving directly into the deep end with school and a job. Just go get a 20 hour a week thing, still all kinds of time to be around TI and all that…

      1. That’s what I would prefer, but I think she’s worried that she’s going to be really unhappy if she doesn’t find a job “for herself”, instead of just taking whatever is out there.

        1. Ugh I had a whole long thing written here vicariously arguing with your wife but I deleted and I’ll just go with “Meh…women” lol

  33. ” Microsoft appears to have abandoned its smartphone operating system ambitions.

    The company’s Windows 10 chief has tweeted that developing new features and hardware for the Mobile version of the OS was no longer a “focus”.

    Joe Belfiore added that he had also switched to Android himself.”

    lol

          1. Speaking of, not the greatest episode this week. No Lauren again and it’s just kind of dull after the live show/LA trip

      1. You mean like his failure of repealing the Affordable Care act, failure of tax reform, an environmental mining disaster in Alaska, and many other acts to benefit no one else below his tax bracket?

  34. Oh neat, the fire near Eureka has taken out AT&T cell and internet in Eureka, Arcata, and Fortuna. Frida has AT&T. Luckily at her work in McKinleyville things seem to be working okay, but that’s just because they take care of businesses first

  35. JJ Watt out for the rest of the season, well there goes Watson’s playoff chances. The Texans’ D has really fallen off

  36. I saw the Mariah Carey-directed Hallmark movie last week too. So that will probably be review #2 because it was amazing.

        1. Oh shit, that’s spectacular. She’s such a diva, like no one else deserves that title as much as her. I can’t wait to read that review

  37. Thing that really pisses me off: When ballparks have those ads behind the batter and they aren’t centered with home plate. Like these ones at Fenway are shifted to the right…..so so stupid.

  38. Make America Great
    Send Pence back to Indy
    Have him immediately leave
    When the players got on their knee

    The president tells the public on Twitter
    The idea was his own
    Players better stand for the flag
    Or I’ll leave alone

    Well, I make America great
    Share flags all day on Facebook
    Don’t take down Confederate momuments
    And think every libturd is a crook

    I’m a real dumb, patrtiot

    1. Snapchat isnt working
      The app won’t take any pics
      Diddly gonna figure out how
      He can distribute photos of his dick

      He tried renting a plane
      And making copies
      But it cost to much
      Plus the xerox came out sloppy

      But Diddly will persevere
      And stand up proud
      Recites “God Bless America”
      No matter the size of a crowd

      He hates gun control
      And when the internet lags
      Cries when he sees old glory fly
      God how he loves the American Flag

      Diddly is a real true, patriot!

    1. And if you think I can only do country, well, i can do pretentious, ultra-liberal music too:

      No poisonous Monsanto slop
      Nature’s fruits great to the last drop
      Pig capitalists
      Flithy, greedy swine
      In their heads it goes…..
      “mine, mine, mine”

      To ignorant to help the poor
      Unrefined and not profound
      Don’t care about anyone
      Refuses to learn proper pronouns

      Gender Fluid
      Not a disease
      But lobbyists enter the senate
      And congress drops on their knees
      You think that’s fine?
      Filthy, greedy, swine?
      Simple, uneducated Americans
      In the McDonalds line

      1. Well we don’t understand when you and TatR start talking about O+A or whatever, so there.

        This smoothie is delicious.

  39. Who’s pumped for The Last Jedi trailer?

    I’m sure I’ll be watching something else that no one in their right mind would be watching at that moment.

  40. I feel like major newspapers would do better if they solicited and printed two pages of color photos of adorable cats every day.

    1. This was a South Park episode in which the boys had a newscast at school, and then Craig got a show about cute animals seen through a wide-angle lense which ultimately forced the boys into cancellation.

      It’s probably accurate. Americans are dumb.

      1. Animals, Close Up with a Wide Angled Lense!

        Get Thad to do that with Xannie and the Casual Geekery is toast

          1. Pictures of adorable cats are very hot on social media amongst all age groups.

            And were you to edit the feature, you could select the photos!

  41. Perverts are hilarious. I mean, it’s awful and stuff and I feel horrible for women that have to deal with that shit all the time but seriously jerking off into a plant during a big Hollywood meeting is fucking objectively funny.

  42. Got tagged in a photo on Facebook and damn do I look fat as hell. Time to go on the Matt Indeed Diet I guess

      1. You should be singing a song encouraging me to eat junk food so that American companies and Big Sugar don’t go under!

        1. Diddly concerned about his weight
          Thinks he needs a diet
          Hears about Matt juicing his greens
          And ponders whether to try it

          But when his stomach growls
          He needs something to eat
          Something rich in protein
          Not figs, seeds, or a beet

          The libturd scientist
          Says eat organic
          Just a lie from the farms
          Run by an illegal Hispanic

          Because leftists hate America
          That is very true
          But Diddly please don’t run
          Like the red, white, and blue

          Diddly is a real, true patriot!

  43. Some other people were tagged in pictures and look fat too, gonna celebrate with this bag of chips and a sugary, sugary soda

    1. godspeed diddly. Just came back from our weekend away to find myself tagged in what seemed like a hundred photos from my brother-in-laws wedding. some were just awful, some were okay

          1. I have something he could eat but PK wouldn’t like it

            HA! GOT HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM

  44. Figure I have 6 weeks to lose 10-15 pounds to look decent for that WWE show where I get thrown out for catcalling Peyton Royce

      1. Diddly got a shit haircut
        Was very angry
        Groped an assitant
        And jerked off in a tree

        But he loves his country
        And baby Jesus
        Tells people who disrespect the country
        To love it or leave it

        Diddly is an American Patriot, executive!

        1. I’m looking forward to watching the arc repeat from “This movie is the best movie to ever happen!” to “This movie was ok” to “Looking back I guess it’s just a remake of a much better movie isn’t it?”

  45. Listening to an interview with Todd McFarlane, he’s talking about buying the McGwire ball and how everyone thinks that was so stupid but he explains that by buying that ball he was finally able to get meetings with heads of marketing and stuff with all these other teams which led to him securing the licenses to do all the sports toys that he always wanted to do anyway.

    1. (imagines a who’s on first routine where I ask “McGwire who?”, you say “Mark”, I say. “No, I heard you mention McFarlane already”) ….Laurel or Hardy I am not.

  46. They should call this Saturday’s slate of games, “Shitfest Saturday” because there is not one single ranked v. ranked game.

  47. Here is a great video of Sami Zayn back when he went by the name Big Larry…Big Larry was a black man that was a member of the Black Panther Party and hated crackers…Its definitely the best mic work of his career…

    https://youtu.be/HhZFv_bUC88

  48. Now the Winchester brothers…I don’t see them getting much traction in movies if/when Supernatural ever ends

          1. a show that long, either you watched from the beginning and carried on, or it’s just like no dice. you can’t commit to 15 seasons after the fact

          2. And 2018 was the year that we watched an episode of Supernatural every night.

            Also 2019.

            And part of 2020.

  49. We could see the end of both the red sox and the Yankees today! Its like the emperor and thanos both being on the titanic!

        1. At this point I don’t feel bad for anyone that gets fired from there. They all knew the risks when they signed on, that channel has infamously fired everyone that caused any controversy for like six or seven years now.

          1. And yet, they keep a Cuban immigrant in his seventies with zero sports or journalism experience whose entire contribution is just saying whatever outlandish shit he feels like on the payroll.

          2. I don’t know who this is referencing but ok lol, I haven’t watched ESPN in years and years. That channel is a relic of an era when scores weren’t available in our pockets. There is no fucking reason to watch people talk about sports now.

      1. Had CBS radio on in the car today and some talking head was discussing how the players were protesting the president and completely ignored how the protest started and why Kaepernick started doing it. The heart of what the protest meant has been completely gutted and turned into “protesting the flag” because, again, the right is much better at messaging.

        Instead of hitting back and saying, “No, morons, THIS is why we’re doing it,” it gets an eyeroll and “ugh, these guys are the worst” in response.

        1. And literally every time a Richard Sherman or Michael Bennett says that it literally has zero to do with the flag or troops, they get called out for being “entitled” or “babies” or some such Right-Wing code word for “nigger.”

          And if I recall my history, guys like Malcom and Dr King spoke up and protested on behalf of the common folks because people knew who they were and their message would get across. I hate this country.

  50. Fucking football and tweets and kneeling, jesus I miss the good old days (last month) when we were talking about impending nuclear disaster this is ridiculous

  51. So there is a terrible radio show called Delilah where this lady talks about her family and gives advice. It’s basically Dr. Laura except Delilah isn’t nearly as much of a cunt. I guess her kid committed suicide. That makes me feel really bad for some radio lady that I haven’t heard on the air in 15 years.

      1. Yes. It was crazy that they’d play her so late at night she was death. I’d only really hear her if Art Bell was being particularly odd.

    1. Delilah is just the worst. When I worked at this pizza shop for 6 years my boss would turn her show on EVERY FUCKING SUNDAY.

    1. One of the two guys that was leading the loading of the lifeboats took “women and children first” to it’s logical conclusion and launched boats with loads of empty seats because there were no women immediately on hand, but wouldn’t let men on because there were still women on board.

      1. We keep seeing high temps in the 60’s in the long range forecast, but when those days finally arrive, the temps are in the high 70’s-mid80’s.

  52. I think the NFL and NBA should just give up with the protests, because the people who get it were already on their side and everyone else only tolerates brown folks when there are things to be cleaned or money to be won sports gambling or what-have-you.

    Focus on the next generation, the kids. Maybe they’ll get it right.

    1. It really doesn’t pay to be a hardcore fan of anything these days. Such devotion is not appreciated and often openly scorned.

      1. I don’t like to call myself a fan of anything because fan comes from fanatic. I’m not fanatical about anything in entertainment.