Christmas may be over, but holiday movies are still all the rage. Some of the best holiday movies. though, aren’t your typical uplifting tales of the triumph of the human spirit. Welcome to Dysfunctional Holiday Theater.
In our second-straight movie set around Christmas time but released during the summer, it’s Ghostbusters II, which up until recently was generally the most reviled Ghostbusters property to see release.
So, it’s a few years after the boys took down Gozer and the fame and notoriety that was hinted at during the first movie’s end credits did not seem to last long, as the Ghostbusters were besieged by lawsuits and character assassinations. So, they go their separate ways – Ray owns a book store and does appearances on the side with Winston, Egon is still doing tests and Venkman hosts “World of the Psychic” on what appears to be cable access.
Re-enter Dana Barrett, Venkman’s former girlfriend and former Gatekeeper, who had a scare with her son and searches out Ray and Egon for help. Venkman, of course, gets involved and the whole convoluted mess leads to a river of slime beneath the New York City subway system.
The river of slime was the sum total of decades of angry New Yorkers taking out all their rage on each other, and the slime was reacting to the emotions of the 8 million residents of the City. It also seemed to really like Jackie Wilson.
The negative emotions are being used by Vigo the Carpathian, who wants to take control of Dana’s son and be reborn into the world to conquer it. The baby is kidnapped and taken to the museum where Dana has been volunteering, where Vigo, trapped in a painting, tries to use the slime and the negative emotions to transfer his consciousness from the painting to the baby. And he’s erected a slime dome around the museum to keep everyone out as the city counts down to the New Year.
Now that I’ve typed all that out, I can’t believe this movie was made. I also can’t believe I enjoy watching it. But whatever. That’s not even the most ridiculous part. The Ghostbusters decide that the only way to bust through the museum is to use the slime against it. With the Statue of Liberty. And a Nintendo controller.
No. Really.
You know what? I take it back – that whole thing was awesome!
The Ghostbusters save the city, New Year’s Eve isn’t ruined and Venkman saves Dana’s kid. Everyone is happy, except probably the city workers who have to bring the Statue of Liberty back to Liberty Island. Pssht. Details.
As we count down to the New Year and try to wash 2019 away, just be grateful that a Carpathian stuck in a painting isn’t trying to get out and take over the world. Oh wait… he’s been in the White House for a few years now. Damn.
